after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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