this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize