just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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