I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
