Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
