You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize