If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
