just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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