What did we do last night that was yellow?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
