Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
