He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
