I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
