dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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