i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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