so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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