'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
