I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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