If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
