If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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