xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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