every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
