so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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