what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
