So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
