If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize