Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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