do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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