WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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