fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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