Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize