saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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