he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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