I like to think it a success when the cops are called
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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