I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
