and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
