VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
