So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
