i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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