"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
