I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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