I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
