Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
