Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
