People in love make me want to vomit
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
