I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
