So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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