Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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