great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize