I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize