im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
