Michael Bay diarrhea
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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