So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
