I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We left the knife in your bed.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
