it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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