Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize