Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
