im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
