i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
