i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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