Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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