Just fell off a train. Bad.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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