No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my being single is dangerous.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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