I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
