69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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